ohana

It’s quite a cheap (because I dont own the car) thrill for me when my uncle drove at top speed while winding round the road.

It was also a rare sight: my sister and I at the backseat and my uncle driving us to our cousins’ place to deliver pizza for the elder’s birthday. The house’s fast becoming a dessert place, what with the different concoctions of food made everyday. Haha shrugs I like.

Well im having this happy warm feeling right now and its because the whole family was so excited to make pizza for them. It felt a little unusual, but nothing I cannot get used to. Thanks God, I pray it’d be like this more often.

Anyhow Elise’s lucky today because she saw a kingfisher and an eagle while out with me!

Many a tale, they say a man will climb the mountain.

I think its fair strange how much intrigues follow us around in our lives. The subterfuges, the white lies, the distillation and discoloration of real emotions washed down with empty words. Its fair strange.

And I think to myself why do I bother with these. I’d want to be blunt and straight-in-your-face or just swallow these down – like those magpies who like to drink our sorrows.

I don’t wanna waste my time with all these, even as the heart cuts up a little more. Even as we drift a little more. Well Mr God, I wanna trust, just that little more.

Well I hafta admit it was hard running today with the hot sun and unwilling body. (Plus the fact that I usually run at the wee hours of dawn) But apparently telling yourself that this round is the worst, and well you gotta make it your best helps. I have to learn to apply that in my own life as well.

School’s starting in a week’s time, but apparently its starting a little earlier for me  and well. Im not really anticipating the back to school period but Lord – when I am at my weakest then You must be at Your strongest, and I wanna trust You for the months ahead.

Stop, and stare.

This week’s passed by remarkably fast, and I’m still reeling from the fact that its currently Saturday morning. Well shrugs, its one more week to school man. And Ann the Boss has kindly scheduled me to work three nights on the first week of school. Oh, wow.

I think it takes a huge effort to talk and think at the same time. That must be it – why when some talk, they make absolutely no sense. Haha. I doubt Im making sense now too.

And what exactly are reminiscences – do you know that your brain mix and match memories, and sometimes overwrite them? And you take the “memory” as it is, without pausing to confirm whether your brain has manipulated it. So even as I “think about the past” it may be that I am making up my own past. Oh wow. What is this, youthnoritis?

Everyone wants someone to listen.

Sometimes I get this feeling that even though I may have known some people for a couple of years, I don’t really understand them at all. I am still surprised by their antics, by the way their thoughts flow and I think why.

Likewise, even though I have been living with myself for close to eighteen years, sometimes I still think I don’t really understand myself.

And while we’re on the topic of living in close proximity with people, I would like to state that my gran is back home safe and sound. I am glad, but there is still some restlessness in me that demands the peace and quiet I had just a few days back. Aw well. Let’s think of it as a trade-off.

a little broken still.

Rewrite the heart.

Thanksgiving #579

Work was quite fruitful today, considering the copious amount of food I consumed – slice of pizza, 2 donuts the boss kindly donated, a small cup of vanilla milkshake, a small cup of cherry choc/macadamia/strawberry champagne ice cream, greg’s fried rice and a small plate for dinner back home haha oh gosh. That is, coupled with many many cups of water because apparently I was a thirsty hippo.

So thanks God, because I was worrying over how I was gonna stretch the money as best as I could today. Heh thanks for taking care of this physical need, and even overdosing me on that.

And we had an interesting talk about religion and friendships today and well, its rare to have such stimulating conversations while at work! So God, thanks for passing the hours really fast! They literally flew after 3pm.

I need more discipline on the running, because I’ve been procrastinating – I think thinking about cycling and badminton, and how they actually are helping in my stamina but aw man. Compulsory running three times this week. I want to hit 7k.

Then again I need to settle down with my alter ego and well, settle many things. Holidays are coming to an end – I need to finish what I set to do at the start, tune the inner alarm, etc.

One thing I’ve learnt this past week was the fact that I need to balance my personality with the situation at hand. To observe the intricate pattern of situation interlacing with emotions and choices at play before deciding the way to react. Times to be harshly choleric and times to be quietly melancholic.

Drawn like a moth to flame.

I am surprised that I am still functioning normally. This week feels like a race against time, with everyone meeting anyone to do something. Shrugs, the days pass like though dream like, and I’m uncertain as to the reasons why God has sped up time for me. He really did, I’m like living in fast forward x3.

Sigh Im working again on Sunday. Then again time has a habit of running past me when Im in the shop, so its okay. :) Maybe there’d be goodies like Baileys or some random food to cheer me up.

And when I’m wide awake with time to spare – I will write down all these wisps of thoughts in my mind right now. I will draw them out and analyze why I view as such. I will not succumb to just wiling the days away. And maybe, just maybe – things will be just so crystal then.