I’d give my life. (Cross my heart & hope to die.)

It’s been rather hectic the last few days and well the following week will be the same as well. School, tests, work, shepherdings, friends who want to meet me(!!!). But it’s all good, because I specifically am determined to grow in discipline.

Work was tiring today, because Greg and I worked like idiots for a measly sum. We thought it’d be five hundred over halftime into the day, but it didn’t happen. Nevertheless we are having sponsored dinner with the TICG people tomorrow! I hope I can get my pay tomorrow, though I am certain it will not happen. (Hope against hope, isn’t it?)

The stomach hasn’t been acting well with me these days, and yeah it hurts. And it churns and churns but there’s nothing I can do to expel. Urgh, you probably don’t need the details. Anyhow it’s all good now, so thanks Elise for the prayer hahahha.

While walking to angela’s house just yesterday night I was reminded of the Penitential Rite we used to say at the start of mass so very long ago during primary and secondary schooldays: I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and what I have failed to do… Thought it was meaningful.

And yes, thanks God for repairing Yuwen and Chloe’s phones! Felt rather helpless when I heard about the news, but we dumped the phones in rice and prayed. :)

There are many; million and one things I know I have to attend to, but I haven’t the heart and energy to sift through my mind for these right now. The precious mindmap I drew disappeared, and I am too spent to focus, focus FOCUS on things.

I want to drown in words and imagery and paragraphs and descriptions and see these pictures zooming so close to me, to me and they overwhelm me and there we go.

Edward Scissorhands was a good movie, and it was enjoyable slacking with those people. Havent felt so comfortable for quite awhile.

Anyhow school tomorrow and onward soldier!

–

BILL
		Okay, a little ethics. You are walking down the
		street. You find a suitcase full of money.
		There's nobody around. No human person is in
		evidence. What do you do?
                 A	You keep the money.
                 B	You use it to buy gifts for your friends and
		your loved ones.
                 C 	You give it to the poor.
                 D	You turn it into the police.

EDWARD
	        Give it to my loved ones?

My life for a drop of yours.

Yeah well, that seems foolhardy and needless but I was thinking if ever you get the maelstrom in me then I hope you get what matters. Those thoughts not of me, not by me.

And yeah, let’s continue to trudge.

Flawed, to begin with.

If I am serious, then what are the things I should be thinking?

If I am serious, what is my action plan?

If I am serious, what should I give up?

If I am serious, if I am serious.

Not an eighteen year old’s perspective, nor experience, nor feelings.

Not mine, not me.

& the tide, it keeps pushing.

Attachment’s over for some of us. So now it’s back to stoning, and studying. (Can’t you see that the latter’s the more important objective?) I can’t either. But back to school, and we have DE and Contract Law on the first two days. Yeah, we need to study, because these days tests aren’t really that simple anymore.

I’ve been through the expressway these nights, and well I just thought how simplistic it’d be to stop the cab, and just sit at the side of the expressway with feet dangling over the railing. See the night lights, and feel a little of the night infuse into me. Aw shrugs.

I think of many things, and yeah moderation appears in my mind everytime. Then I am reminded of Alasken, and how he preaches moderation in Enemy of the People – how he chooses to stand in the fine line and just jump man overboard to whichever side he finds the more profitable. Well I don’t aim to be specifically like him, but I think i think! That there must be moderation in everything that we are striving to do, because I see the future and I don’t want rules to bind me when there were none. I am thinking of sneak attacks like Daine and her animals, when they raided their enemies’ side at the dead of night.

I know I ought to be starting on my Professional Profiling, and wait! I am visiting the various competitors’ places – its just that I need more facts and fervor to get me working.

I just want to do well by my side of the bargain.

Suddenly I feel this suffocation – and yeah its just me, its just me, but I want to burrow down somewhere and hide, I want to place this journal deep down into the deepest recesses of the internet world.

I am wary of you, and your thoughts, your views and I think hey I don’t need you.

Right here, right now.

and the moment passes. (or does it?)

“i’m boring.” “yeah?you are.”

In just about five minutes, I would be ending my second day at the airport. Well it’s pretty much okay and did not deserve the trepidation at the beginning. It’s been crazy with titima as my partner, and well I need to tone down. What happened to my quiet and serious image?

Okay I will be going for a run tomorrow. Long rounds girl.

the fallacy of a forever heart is that it still breaks.

I have a bad habit of doing short rounds repeatedly, repeatedly, and oh, yet again.

Sunrises are not for me. I rather sunsets, and seeing the sun retreat below the sea and hear the slowing down of cars, noises, breathing. Our steps slacken, our eyes lose that edge..

Anyhow I got to go. :)