They demand proof of my faith.

Sometimes I want every inch of me and my thoughts to be known, and sometimes I just want to shrink into a ball and let everything past by: I will be a mystery into death.

I have so many things on my mind now, and I simply do not know where to start. Should I start with the worries or the emotions or the deadlines? Hah. This is the peril of gaining age chronologically. Somehow it’d be better if I am ten today, and thirty tomorrow ain’t it? It would make for a much more balanced me.

Its drizzling now, and I am stuck in my bedroom with aching feet. I think it is time to get new shoes. I’m liking the current situation right now in which I alternate between a longer run, a shorter run and a few sprints in between. I am still a slowpoke though, hopefully will get a respectable timing during sundown.

I am learning to walk on water everyday in every circumstance, and more often than not, I fail. But I aim to be like Peter, who picked himself up and continued walking until death.

To the ghost of Yesterday.

Hello Jervity,

I remembered I named you thus because I was rather enamored with the book Daddy Long Legs. Did you know that was one of my favorite books? But now I seem to be stuck in facts and adult worries and issues and I forget that there was once a fat little kid who liked to hole herself at home to read.
Plus, I really do miss coming back to a quiet place, with nobody at home.

I miss staying up late just for the hell of it, cooking nonsense because there was no food cooked by anyone, and generally living alone. I think it suits me just fine, living alone.

Or rather, it may be the peace that I am missing in me somewhere. What with this year barrelling through the months (it’s may now), I think I will not get a respite anytime until the second semester.

I hope I remember you, jervity. I hope to find you real soon somewhere inside of me, and when things get too tough I will remember the peace of yesteryear.

Love,
Denise