Funny how your life can change in a split second. When we thought we’ve got everything figured out and covered, and are waiting to march on forward – things come to a crashing halt.
When I look at my father, I see the brilliance of a kind and compassionate man who loves his family and brother so very deeply; so much that he forfeited his life. I have had the best 2o years of life, hands-down. I am forever indebted.
What is the emotion at work if the heart cuts up every single time; thinking you’re ok and turning a corner and going on a crying jag, watching a particular space hoping for a person’s presence and/or arrival, laughing at remembered antics, hearing their voice crystal clear in your head, wondering if they had ever talked about you. And upon knowing the answer to the question YOU asked, your heart tears.
It’s the hand that gives and gives and never expects anything in return. All along, the answers I was searching for were right beneath my nose.
I was never a daughter, but he was the father I had wanted all along. Heart-breaking that this realization is just.. too late.