it was a good trip to redang. it was really a place where i really relaxed for a long while. it is also a place i felt the closest to my father. he is an island boy, a sailor darkened by the sun so much he appears malay and the kid i was used to think he look like president nathan. the beach, the boatmen, the chilled vibes and the serenity reminded me so much of him. i am sure it is a place he would have loved. it just settled my heart alittle.
one thing he would have disliked would be the crowds of people when we snorkel. but well, when youre face-planted in the sea.. the outside world ceases to exist and i guess.. that it doesnt really matter anymore then.
i didnt know him well. but i know myself well enough to note that i take after him: laidback, quiet, ultra messy and just need my personal space most times. he doesnt allow people into his life easily, but once he considers you his friend its forever. plus he loved my mother so much that he literally sheltered her from the world. that to me.. is the most humbling and heartbreaking part of the plot. (will i ever have that?)
maybe there are some things i am chasing after that are just attempts to be closer to what i cannot have anymore. but just being at sea reminds me of him, and haha i guess i am romanticizing him & his history too much alr.
will be back to the island again.