Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed away on Monday morning, 0318 hrs. I woke up with incoming messages to share about his passing away, and PM Lee’s immediate speech airing on tv. It was a surreal morning.
As a citizen of Singapore, I am speechless, and heartbroken.
Today’s the day for Thanksgiving, and I thought to jot down a few things I’m grateful for, and happy about:
I’m contented with the here and now, and of course, always striving.
So looking forward to the sea come next year. I hope to do a surf camp :) I HOPE.
x denise
i need, no – crave for a retreat. stat.
Almost 24, almost quarter-century. What a milestone – what have I achieved?
The older I am, the more I realise that the brave are not the ones who travel. The brave ones are the ones who knuckle down, count their coins, give up the wants, and support their families both financially and emotionally. Perhaps it’s just my sub-conscious telling myself – Denise, you’re not being brave doing your solo travel thing. That’s running away.
To be sure, I find facets of myself I never would if I didn’t go on foolhardy trips back just a few years ago. I have been lost and hungry, faced an on-coming bus in the middle of a highway, walked down streets to find a room for the night, bunked in with strangers, followed strangers, been lonely, been happy. So many memories and experiences. Also, I’m not sure if I’d ever have the guts to do a bungee again.
But its in the day-to-day, living on a salary, dreaming of renovating the house, a tough deliberation between a personal laptop or not, making time to visit my gran and keeping up with my friends, that I find deeper recesses of myself that I’d otherwise never have.
Holistically – these are all of me. Paradoxically, I’m also not sure who I am, anymore. Except, I’m needing to be brave and stay the course.
I’ve been ruminating over this paradox. To have less, so that I can have more. To cut the fats and dig deep on the ones that matter. Like, let’s cut the chase.
In every way possible.
So, what really matters?
After leaving for a few years, here I am back on wordpress again. I’ve also consolidated my tumblr posts here, so that posts are now kept to a central location. Much like Dumbledore’s pensieve now, instead of Vordemort’s Hocruxes. It feels like I’m coming back full circle – I’ve grown tired of the pretty pictures elsewhere, and all i’m ready to do is to spill these words unto ink and stark paper.
So here I am. And there you are.
if you care about something you have to protect it – if you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.
john irving
Without Wax 